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Holiday Blues? How to master workplace emotions.

The workplace can feel a little heavier coming out of the holiday blues. Emotions are running high, and for some, the return to work triggers a mix of stress, nostalgia, or overwhelm. As leaders, we’re often faced with emotionally charged moments—including tears.

So, let’s address it head-on: how do we handle crying at work? Spoiler alert: banning tears it is not the answer.

Why Tears Make Us Uncomfortable

It’s natural to feel uneasy when someone cries at work. Here’s why:

  • We’re unsure of the cause.  People cry for countless reasons: frustration, joy, anger, or even relief.

  • We want to fix it.  Tears trigger our problem-solving instincts, but we often don’t know what needs fixing.

  • We feel guilty. Did our feedback cause this? We start questioning our role.

  • We dread deeper issues.  Is this about more than just today’s conversation?

  • We fear escalation.  What if the tears turn into full-blown sobbing or hyperventilating?

  • We fear emotional contagion.  Someone else’s tears might make us tear up too.

What Leaders Need in These Moments

Handling tears requires emotional intelligence: self-awareness and self-management.

  • Self-awareness means recognising how someone else’s tears impact you (frustration, anxiety, or concern) and naming that emotion.

  • Self-management involves controlling your own emotional response and adapting to the moment.

What’s needed in these moments is a blend of empathy and clear-headedness. Leaders should aim to provide a sense of safety without taking away the other person’s autonomy. A steady, supportive presence can help the individual regain their balance and feel more in control of their emotions.

What Not to Do

Avoid these common mistakes:

  • Interpreting: Don’t assume you know why they’re crying. People may not even know themselves.

  • Dictating actions: Telling them to take a break can feel disempowering.

  • Judging: Comments like “it’s not worth crying over” erode trust and safety.


What to Say Instead

When faced with a tearful moment, focus on being supportive and brief. Here are some practical phrases:

1.       “Let’s pause for a moment. I see you’re upset. Would you prefer a break or to keep going? Your call.” This neutral approach empowers the person to choose their next step.

2.       “I’m going to pause and check in. Can you share what’s going on for you?” This shows curiosity and compassion without overstepping.

3.       “Let’s take a moment. What would help you right now? I’ll follow your lead.” Acknowledging their emotions while giving them control fosters trust.


Why It Matters

Emotions are data, and ignoring or minimising them is a missed opportunity. Leaders who respond with curiosity and compassion build stronger, more resilient teams.

Starting the year by addressing emotional well-being sets the tone for a workplace where people feel seen and supported—even during tough moments.


So, as we dive into 2025, embrace the reality of emotions at work. It’s not about fixing or suppressing them; it’s about leading with empathy and empowering your team to thrive.

At Blue Mercury Leadership, we equip leaders with tools to navigate tough conversations with empathy and purpose, fostering trust and building emotionally resilient teams. If you want to know how to have impactful dialogue and create a culture where every voice feels valued ...

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