Why We’re So Bad at Reflection (and Why Now Is the Perfect Time to Try)

Reflection is one of those things we all agree is important… yet somehow never quite get around to.

We talk about learning from experience, building self-awareness, and being intentional. But in practice, reflection often sits at the bottom of the to-do list, quietly postponed until “things calm down”... When does that happen??

The truth is, most of us are not bad leaders or learners. We are just busy humans operating in systems that reward action far more than pause.

Why reflection feels so hard

There are a few very human reasons reflection slips through the cracks.

First, reflection does not feel productive in the traditional sense. It is quiet. It is internal. There is no immediate output, no email sent, no task ticked off. In fast-paced environments, that can feel uncomfortable or even indulgent.

Second, reflection requires honesty. When we slow down, we often notice things we would rather avoid. Decisions we second-guess. Conversations we wish we had handled differently. Energy we have been leaking. Avoidance is often easier than insight.

Third, we rarely create space for it. Reflection needs margins. White space. Breathing room. Most of our days are tightly packed, leaving little room to stop and think, let alone look back.

Why this time of year matters

This time of year offers a natural pause point. The calendar begins to loosen. Many projects wind down. There is a collective sense of closing one chapter and preparing for another.

It is a rare moment where reflection does not need to be forced. It is already invited.

Done well, reflection is not about judging yourself or replaying mistakes. It is about noticing patterns, naming what mattered, and choosing what you want to carry forward.

It helps you move into the next year with clarity rather than just momentum.

Three simple ways to start reflecting...

You do not need a retreat, a long journal session, or hours of spare time. Start small. Here are three accessible ways to begin.

1. Look for patterns, not perfection

Instead of asking “What did I do right or wrong?”, ask:

• What themes kept showing up this year?

• What energised me more than I expected?

• What consistently drained me?

Patterns tell you far more than isolated moments. They point to where your attention, time, or boundaries may need adjusting.

2. Name the moments that mattered

Choose three moments from the year that stand out. They might be big or surprisingly small.

For each one, ask:

• Why does this moment stay with me?

• What did it reveal about me, others, or what I value?

• What do I want to remember from it?
  

These moments often hold clues about purpose, values, and direction.

3. Decide what you want more and less of

Reflection is incomplete without choice.

Try finishing these two sentences:

• Next year, I want more…

• Next year, I want less…
  

Keep it simple. More space. More courage. Less rushing. Less over-functioning. Let these become quiet anchors for your decisions moving forward.

A final thought

Reflection is not about dwelling in the past. It is about harvesting it.

When you take time to notice what has shaped you, challenged you, and stretched you, you step into the next season with intention rather than autopilot.

And there is no better time than now to begin!!!

Blue Mercury Leadership, based in Queenstown, New Zealand helps leaders and teams thrive by combining CliftonStrengths coaching, emotional culture tools, and tailored leadership programmes.

Led by Kayleigh Woodings, an accredited CliftonStrengths coach and experienced Emotional Culture Deck facilitator, the work is grounded in creating emotionally intelligent, resilient, and human-centred leaders.

At its heart, Blue Mercury believes that when people bring their best selves to work, the impact ripples through organisations, families, and communities.